SO, I HAD A MEETING WITH A FELLA who was looking to partner with an artist in a business idea. He was friendly enough, and I thought he had an interesting project, so we agreed to meet at some point soon to kick the idea around.
I sent him some links to my art online, and he seemed to dig what he saw. And for my part, I thought he had a striking idea lacking good illustration. So far so good.
I guess, to be honest, it began to feel a little weird when he started pressing me to meet like, the day after tomorrow if nothing else will do, but tomorrow, preferably. He told me the short notice was due to his already being nearby on the day, and not wanting to make another trip at another time.
I hate feeling rushed. And I mean loathe. I don’t just dislike it, I really, really abhor being rushed. I don’t trust people who seek to destabilize you in such ways. I know that’s not a generous view. I don’t trust people who…seek to control you in such ways. Hmm. That’s also pretty harsh, I guess. Perhaps I should say I don’t trust people who are rushing around constantly. I sound more generous that way, right? HA! You laugh, shaking your head. Sure, buddy…. Yeah, let’s go with that last version, anyway. I don’t trust people who can’t manage their time. Wait. That’s not the same thing at all. Now I’m sounding judgmental again.
Jeez. Trying to please you is exhausting.
TAKE 2:
I wanted more time to go over his material, CV, and site—info he had just sent me. On top of that, I wanted time to prepare to meet someone to talk about such things. You know, in public. Someone I had never met in person. That’s going to take me at least a couple days, right? Yes! I need time to work up to these things. Yet, I ended up acquiescing to his dynamite countdown clock, because he was the one driving to me. That is definitely worth something.
Shortly before we met, he shared his CV with me in an email. “My Goals Sheet is a little personal, but I thought maybe you want to see the direction I’m going in” he said. Something like that. So yeah, of course that confronted me.
“Do I?” I thought. “Do I, really?” I guess the CV and references thing felt a little odd, as if I were hiring him. But looking at it, I realized he was not so far out of college, and that’s why he had school stuff on there. Give it five years and you’ll realize nobody in the working world cares much about your school days. Give it ten years and you’ll actually have way more relevant history to show people.
His Goals Sheet included a one year plan and a five year plan, and not just in business, but in the personal, and even the physical realms. One of his goals, aside from being able to perform a specific amount of pull-ups by the time a year passed, was to Speak to Another Person About Jesus Christ. And his long term goal was to, I don’t know, bring someone to Jesus Christ, or something.
Now listen: I have nothing against Mr. Christ! From what I know, he was a righteous and radical man. I am with him on a lot of things…(aside from turning the other cheek. I tried that for a while, and I’ve come out with different views. But then, it seems the phrase has been greatly misinterpreted due to a chasm between cultures of yesterday and today.)
In any case, I had to question why dude was sharing this with me—a guy who simply wanted to illustrate a (non-religious) game. But then, I’ve seen this before in followers of Christ. It’s not enough, in my experience, for them to join forces around common business, artistic, or even social tenets. They always seem to need to tell you about their deep bond with Christ—as a prerequisite to working with you. And as a person who gets passionate about what he is into, I guess I can empathize…to a degree.
Still…I do wonder how he would have felt if I shared a Goals Sheet with him that listed my five year plan as “Lead someone away from Christ.” Would that be a deal-breaker for him?
Messiah aside, you have to watch out when people transgress a line, even a seemingly small social norm, by confessing they are doing it and asking absolution as they do. [No, I’m not talking about inconsequential things like sneezing five times in a row. I think we can agree that discussions of religion between unacquainted or barely acquainted people are generally frowned upon.] They know they are redefining boundaries, and if you say yes to that, it will most likely have consequences for you down the line. And one tiny moment of comfort purchased by biting your tongue might have a bigger price tag than you’d guess. I’d advise against making such trades. And people who know me, know I’d not let it slip by.
I responded in person, the next day, as we had coffee together. I’m not sure I transitioned into the topic so well. “I read your CV. Listen…the part about Jesus. I am not really open to talking about or hearing about people’s religion,” I said. “I just have to say. I don’t want to be someone’s…project.”
As you can tell, I’m quite diplomatic. I have a real feel for people. A sensitive type.
“I’d never think of anyone as a ‘project’ he replied, obviously flustered. His perma-smile wilted momentarily. And I suspect, looking back, it was at that moment the potential partnership fell apart. I really didn’t intend to be hurtful. I just didn’t want there to be doubt, if we went forward.
Maybe that’s why he approached the topic, too.
Later, I sealed the deal with the fresh graduate from a school in a small, Northern, Oregon town by sending him sexy, dark, satan-robot art. As well as a number of other pieces. He responded by saying the array of images “sure show you have a range!”
Then he asked for personal references, which I sent him. Names and numbers which he would never call before not ever getting back in touch with me….
I have an interesting relationship with the Christ fandom. And by interesting I mean, complicated. It’s not all public stonings, Satan robots, and late summer afternoon cheek-turnings. The fact of the matter is, at times I’ve been low and really needed some help, or for my luck to cut me a break. And in a number of those situations, it has been Christian people who’ve appeared in the nick of time. Showing up with jobs, or even a few friends to help me move a piano across the parking lot and up my front steps. I might even be able to say ‘many if not most’ of such incidents. At least in the last decade.
Now…I’m not saying every time, and I’m also not trying to draw any mystical conclusions. Nor am I saying that there wasn’t at times a cost to the help—such relationships have the tendency, at times, to veer toward the paternalistic. Ultimately, it’s a very pragmatic statement I’m making: that in all of my thoughts and feelings about Christianity and Christians, it would be dishonest of me not to be thankful that more than a couple of them played positive, if not instrumental roles in my path.
But then, that’s not a hard thing to admit. And I’m happy to credit their spiritual guidance for that. I already said I have no opposition to Jesus or his teachings. From what I have read, they are beautiful teachings.
I just don’t feel comfortable with proselytizing. I don’t enjoy being on the receiving end of it, and I don’t care for doing it, even when I’ve been in groups that have asked me to do so. To me, to firmly provide answers to questions people have never asked you is just…invasive.
In any case, I wish the young man the best, and all the success in life. In all three of his Goal Areas.